I just finished watching an old TED, about The Oil Endgame (2003). Before that I was enthralled with a movie. City of Ember is a really interesting science-fiction about humanity escaping underground for 200 years after an unidentified calamity. Before the movie I had engaged in a very long day of productive behavior.
I talk a lot about the cultural side of Peace Corps. How we sing with our family, play with kids, and try to speak SiSwati. What I don’t really talk or write about is the incredible opportunity for personal growth that Peace Corps has given me. When I wake up in the morning, I have stopped believing I know what any single day will hold. I can of course have lose plans, and I still enjoy my morning routine (thanks for all the coffee Ryan, Karen, and Pop!) There is no plan, no schedule, and nothing for certain once I get outside of the hut.
One thing I have often said to my dad on the phone is “day’s are long, weeks are short.” It is incredibly difficult to convey even in words how true that is.I do not work 9 to 5, I work sunup to sundown. Today’s early morning started relatively normal. The only routine I have really is in the early morning. My first chore is to take down the solar lights and put them out to charge. The second task is to make coffee. After a bit of time, usually 8 or 9 am I usually make my way to either the KaGogo center, or to the primary school.
Although this sounds like it could be routine, it really isn’t. The locations are the same, but sometimes the teachers will be there, sometimes they won’t. Sometimes they will all be in a room together buying Tupperware or planning a cooking party. Sometimes the Gogo Center Manager is there, sometimes he is already at a meeting. Sometimes I see the goats sleeping by his door and I know I could just turn around and go home.
Today was Sunday and therefore it was a little bit different. Occasionally I will go to church, but I usually find my interest more in tune with personal development. A few weeks ago I told myself that Sunday would be my “reading, writing, and reflection” day. It would be reserved for me to correspond with friends and family, and catch up on reading. Reorganize also sounded good, so I lumped it in for good measure. To my surprise I have actually been able to do these things on Sundays now. It is a quiet day where I can reorganize my head.
The Peace Corps experience starts with travel to a remote country, but that is only the beginning. I laughed at a phrase from a PCV friend the other day. Reid said “Now we are going to explore space; now close your eyes.” Regardless of the original context of the phrase, it strikes me as relevant to the exploring of my interests and passions. I am finding more and more that my lofty ideas of what the world were are being honed into a sense of purpose. It isn’t good enough for me anymore to expect someone else to change with world. I have been watching as many episodes of TED as I possible. I am continually renewed that I am not alone when I feel that the world can be a better place. I am reminded that it is up to me to make a difference, and I can’t wait for government, businesses, or other people to do make a difference for me.
I feel positive right now and stronger in my convictions that joining Peace Corps was the right thing to do. I have seen first a completely different way of life than I was raised with. I have experienced a culture that is incredibly unique. I am living with people that do not say ‘hello’ when passing you, they say "I am seeing you.” The intimacy of the greeting, and good nature of my company speak to me of a better place for humanity. In our digital and fast-paced age something as simple as real human contact has been overlooked. It’s not that you can talk to a person through an infinite number of methods, it is what you actually say to that person that has meaning and substance.
Substance is a trait that I find lacking when I look back at many of the relationships I had at home. Most people I know are mysteries to me. I may know them from a single context, at a club or from my childhood. But what substance do I have with these people? What am I contributing to their lives by being their friend on Facebook? What value am I contributing to people that don’t read what I write, and what value can I bring to someone that is shut-off from conscious and rational thought.
Peace Corps is a growing experience. I am growing further apart from people that I was never close with in the first place. My substance with my greatest friends and family is what is most dear to me. I can’t reply to every email Ryan writes me, but I read and reread them. I can’t explain to my dad how much his phone calls mean, but I will continue to try. I appreciate Karen tagging me in photos on Facebook, at the end of the month I have something else to look forward to.
We are coming upon the one year mark of being away. Just two weeks to go before our first Peace Corps anniversary. I have learned so much about myself, humanity, and the world that I understand my inner substance will never be the same again. If you are reading this I hope maybe you will set aside some time for yourself. Maybe you can use Sundays as you reorganization day. There are some many phrases in Americana that tell us what to do.
Stop and smell the roses.
You only live once.
Tomorrow may never come.
It is important to remember that while passengers on spaceship earth, hurtling through the cosmos of our lives, we are truly the masters and commanders of our destiny.
“What happens in a meadow at dusk?” : Everything.
